A Guide to Grief and Bereavement
Grief is a normal response to loss. It can be painful at times and the pain can become unbearable. It is a combination of many emotions that come and go, sometimes without warning. Grieving is the period during which we actively experience these emotions. How long and how difficult the grieving period is depends on the relationship with the person who dies, the circumstances of the death, and the situation of the survivors. The length of time people grieve can be weeks, months, and even years. One thing is certain: grief does not follow a timeline, but it does ease over time.
Experts describe the grieving process in the following steps: shock, denial, anger, guilt, depression, acceptance and growth.
- Shock occurs if the death came suddenly, as in an accident or a murder. Physical symptoms such as confusion and loss of appetite are common.
- Denial is nature’s way of softening the immediate blow of death. It can follow soon after the initial shock. People may not yet be ready to accept the reality of the death of their loved one.
- Anger is a normal reaction in grieving. People of faith may feel anger at God or the anger may be directed at oneself for not saving the loved one’s life. It can test one’s faith in religion or even in the goodness of life.
- Guilt is experienced by many survivors because they feel they should have done more. Sometimes they find reasons to feel guilty.
- Sadness is a normal part of the grief process. People fee abandoned, alone and afraid. They may have little energy to do even the simplest daily chores. Crying episodes may seem endless.
- Acceptance may give way to a new perspective about the future. Acceptance means the survivor can use the memories to create a new life without the loved one.
- Growth occurs when a person seeks meaning in their loss and gets involved in causes or projects that help others.
Signs that the grieving person is in distress might include weight loss, substance abuse, depression, prolonged sleep disorders, physical problems, talk about suicide, and lack of personal hygiene. Observing these signs may mean the grieving person needs professional help.
Source: hospicenet.org